the end

i've came to the end of the dark and twisty road. how do i feel about walking away?? heavy hearted. sad. upset. frustrated. confused. but felt that it's the right thing to do. the road was getting too bumpy. too dark. too dead ended. i do not have the strength to carry on walking and get back up whenever i fall. too much sacrifices; hobbies, friends, the voice within... with no returns.

i've met a man. someone i love lots. i guess it's the excitement and spontaneous ways of his that kept me on the go. he's not much of a planner, at least with me. maybe due to long distance, we've never really celebrated any special occasions together. my bday presents was always last minute or late, or when asked for. despite all, i've always looked forward to the day he visits. and dreaded the day he leaves. image of him walking off my front door with his bags had stayed for a long time till today. how we both would look forward to the next time he'll be here again.

maybe i've carried the hope that he'll change. maybe i've carried the hope that the honey moon period was who he really is. maybe things could be better. maybe not. maybe...

after the torturous months, what do i really like about that man? it's just a fondness kinda feeling. the 'you light up my life' kinda feeling.